The world is in the middle of a narcissistic epidemic, and everywhere you look, you will find the perpetrators. They are in music, in leadership, they head governments, and as W. Keith Campbell and Jean Twenge (authors of The Narcissism Epidemic) explains, they think they’re fantastic and that you just have to learn to deal with it! Below are six ways to help you deal with a person that believes they’re the best thing since sliced bread, and that you don’t matter.. At all!
1. Understand the source of the problem
“The Narcissist’s Prayer” offers you insight into the mind of a narcissist, that should help you understand what kind of personality you are dealing with;
“The Narcissist’s Prayer”
That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did…
You deserved it.
Narcissists are so caught up in the sense of their own importance that they will always place their needs before yours, they will always want to be the center of your attention, and they will show a lack of empathy. Knowing that the person you are dealing with is in an internal struggle that pits them against love and kindness is one of the ways you can start dealing with narcissism in a constructive way.
2. Don’t argue
The narcisisst can see, hear nor do no wrong. In case a narcissist is ready to argue with you, do not entertain them. Narcissists will use your words, turn them against you, and distort what you say to suit their truth. By not indulging them by arguing back, you make them invisible, which infuriates the narcissist as he can longer use his words to have his way. Evaluate your self-worth when it comes to dealing with a narcissist. Reject any unfair accusation, criticism or blame. You can choose to point out their wrong, but decide not to pursue the conversation any further.
3. Set clear boundaries
A healthy part of self-care involves setting healthy limits and sticking to them. Healthy boundaries ensure that you do not lose your own goals or vision whenever the narcissist tries to take center stage in your life. Let the narcissist know that you will move in the direction you’ve set in your boundaries no matter how much they clamor for your attention. This will allow you to alleviate the feelings of insecurity and anxiety that the narcissist causes you.
4. Thrive in the power of positivity
Positive people are more optimistic and therefore have an easier time dealing with stressful situations or difficult people. Staying positive may assist you to deal with a narcissist easier, because you will be less prone to their manipulation, which they design and send your way to tick you off so that they can achieve their satisfaction from watching you get all ruffled up. Having a positive state of mind will make it harder and less satisfying for the narcissists if they are trying to breach your walls. It might also discourage them from trying it further.
5. Keep your focus
Narcissists spend all their waking moments projecting their insecurities on others, blaming their victims for things they aren’t guilty of. Instead of getting caught up in the blame game or feeling the need to fight for your honor, it helps to take a step back and look at things from a clear perspective.
Reject any unfair criticism or unfair blame, then move on to what matters the most to you. Keep your focus and avoid getting derailed in the nitty-gritty of the narcissist’s manipulative world. Being around narcissists implies that there will always be the need for you to remain vigilant and stay focused on your purpose, not the narcissist’s.
6. Have Realistic Expectations
Once you have established that you’re in a dance with a narcissist, it will further help you if you accept their emotional limitations. The narcissist will not be a trusted confidante, supportive, genuinely loving or respectful, without professional assistance. The narcissist will at the most times put their needs before yours, so build a circle of support around you and link up with people who have empathy, compassion, are trustworthy and genuine. These are attributes you will hardly ever receive genuinely from a narcissist.